His Lingering Need: An Introduction to the Author

I really wasn't sure how I should introduce myself here and then came up with the idea of introducing some of the history that has led me to start this blog. I'm glad that I'm here.

My very first taste and very likely the source of my twists was based in a book found at a rather precocious age among many other similar choices in the den of a family up the street. In addition to doing odd jobs I would occasionally baby-sit their son which gave me hours and hours every week to critique the relative merits of the types of erotica and straight up porn being offered. I would borrow one or another of these books almost every week as I quickly discovered what good fun a boy of 12 could have alone in his room reading.

This book that most particularly and repeatedly drew me was a large and well edited collection of what had been a wide variety of Victorian era underground smut (oh joy!).

The stories are full of ribald licentiousness, naughty, naughty governesses, well endowed young men, not so innocent upstairs maids, men of every stripe (ha!), wise older women, wicked grandmothers, the very frequent application of canes and paddles and riding crops to carefully situated rear parts, and all manner of other fun ways to spend a sunny summer afternoon in the country.

Long story short... I don't think I had a chance.

It's called "The Pearl".
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pearl_(magazine)

The next several years...

As the hormones raged through my body my teens found me interpreting virtually every interaction, with virtually every female in proximity, from an erotic perspective. But I quickly learned, and despite being as sincere as I really was about it all, that attempts to seduce 14yo girls was mostly a waste of time and energy.

So what is a romantic and horny boy to do?

The terms MILF and Cougar didn't exist yet but the definition for these did and it was now deeply ingrained in me along with a precociously acquired familiarity with what men and women really can and will do when they are alone together.

And so, a very common theme of my teen years became the older female. These would range from just a few years older such as the older sisters of friends to nearly twenty years in the form of the one who became my most significant involvement. The three most important of these women accepted our earnest young knight affectionately, and being intelligent in addition to beautiful, engaged with him openly and kindly.

But however romantic it may have been it was all very erotic and quite sexual; taking me under their wing to review what carnal knowledge I arrived with then teaching and exposing me to more and more with each exchange. In all, guiding a healthy and enthusiastic boy to learn what he could do with, and rather critically for, a woman including how to look for and be open to what any particular woman might want or need from him.

These life lessons extended well beyond the temporal and these sexual relationships (what would have made headlines all over CNN today) were limited to the sweeter and more loving sorts of adventures rather than focusing on things like impact play... but adventuring we did go and I eagerly lapped up all the offered knowledge.

As a result of this positive introduction to, well, nearly everything, I've always been sex positive, ethically slutty, and entirely, obsessively, happily heterosexual -- no matter how annoyed Steve or Ben may have been with this. (Steve and Ben were both kind and wise older men that I also spent time with while ditching classes; who also allowed me to learn things from, but not of a sexual nature.)

Jumping 40 years and quite a few other adventures ahead...

Up to this point I've always described myself, still do really, as a switch of sorts though I have always hated these labels. With a novice or dabbler I've been able to top well enough and will happily take on the responsibility of managing that aspect of our time together occasionally...

...but not long into that play I'll be pushing for her to be more assertive and sometimes not so subtle. But I could never TOP with an experienced sub... and truth be told I've always kept myself to the shallower end of the bdsm pool and explored it through what passed for relationship with what I've often referred to as the 'bossy girlfriend'

In my own interpretation, if for example I were to be tied down and forced (hint, hint) to classify that switchiness I'd say my version of PE and kink comes out to about 55% sub vs 20% dom with 25% of happy hedonistic slut making up the difference.

The Alpha/Beta test shows 30% Mid Alpha and 34% Mid Beta (Lime Green).
The bdsmtest.org pegs me at 92% Switch; 77% Submissive and 54% Dominant. But I won't argue those test results. No ma'am I sure won't.

But it has all really been quite fluid, and situational, and could easily be experienced anywhere in these ranges. The most critical variables have been the nature of the woman I’m with, how I've come to know her, her needs, preferences, my state of unreleased arousal and just how tight the grip on my balls is at that moment.

Being at the "but, this one goes to 11..." end of the sensuality and eroticism scale it's never been about hardware or theatrics or force or required anything other than a sincere, kind, loving seduction to draw out even the sluttiest of no limit bottom.

And bringing us to now...

All of which dovetails neatly with my interest, this lingering need, to explore the possibility of a real 24/7 relationship of the committed and loving FLR variety.

To be clear: this is NOT about domestic servitude or cuckoldry or feminization or poly anything but rather something that I want to be an actually satisfying monogamous romantic vanilla life with an age appropriate and attractive woman I can't help but to adore for the rest of our lives.

A woman who likes men and likes having LOT's of kinky sex with ONE man...

...and most critically with trust enough to find where BOTH of our limits really are, to then push them some, and then to settle down into what can really work for BOTH of
us and for the long term.

So I'm putting it out there, or here, in an effort to see just exactly what I might find,
or can find, or can create with the help and guidance of the sort of strong woman that I need in my life on a hundred different levels.

I truly hope you can help us both to thread this needle.
--

eta: I've returned to this essay a few times since I first posted here but I think anything more calls for another post or better yet to be done privately. Say hello.

But it's really all quite fluid, and situational, and could easily be experienced as 70% sub vs 10% dom -- but still at heart that 20% slut.

My interpretation of "kink" has always been expressed as being far more about the WHY and HOW of what we'll do together sexually versus whether we'll do it or not ... and there isn't much that a well educated and very slutty boy wouldn't do for/with his lady ... and being at the "this one goes to 11" end of the sensuality and eroticism scale. But it's never been about hardware or theatrics or force or required anything other than kind and loving seduction to draw out.

All of which dovetails neatly with my interest, my LingeringNeed, to explore relationships of the FLR variety and just exactly I might find, or can find, or can create with the help and guidance of the sort of strong woman that I need in my life on a hundred different levels.

I truly hope you can help.

Hello everyone. I really wasn't sure how I should introduce myself to you and then came up with the idea of introducing some history that has led me to join this group. I'm glad that I'm here.

My very first taste and very likely the source of my twists (and early, quite happy, accomplishment as a cunnilinguist) was based in a book that I found among many other similar choices at a rather precocious age.

It was on the bookshelf in the den of a family up the street for whom I would occasionally baby-sit. I was about 12 then and quickly discovered what good fun a boy could have alone in his room just reading books. I was (soon later) the paperboy in this neighborhood -- stories of which will be shared if requested.

This particular large compilation was a well edited collection of what had been Victorian era underground smut (oh joy!). The stories are full of ribald licentiousness, naughty, naughty governesses, well endowed young men, not so innocent upstairs maids, men of every stripe (ha!), wise older women, wicked grandmothers, the very frequent application of canes and paddles and riding crops to carefully situated rear parts, and other fun ways to spend a sunny summer afternoon in the country.

It's called "The Pearl". Get a copy.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pearl_(magazine)

Long story short... I don't think I had a chance.

As the hormones then began to rage through my body in my teens I would interpret virtually every interaction, with virtually every female in proximity, from an erotic perspective. But I quickly learned, and even as sincere as I really was about it all, that attempts to seduce 14yo girls was a waste of time and energy.

So what is a horny and romantic boy to do?

The terms MILF and Cougar didn't exist then but the definition for these was deeply ingrained as was that precociously learned familiarity with what men and women really can and will do when they are alone together.

And so, a very common theme of my teen years became the older female. The most important of these women (just three altogether) would take me under their wing to review what carnal knowledge I arrived with and then teach me a bit more about just what a healthy and enthusiastic boy could do for a Woman who cared for him. I eagerly lapped up the knowledge.

These lessons extended well beyond the temporal, but these sexual relationships (what would have headlines all over CNN today) were limited to the sweeter and more loving sorts of adventures. But adventuring we did go.

As a result of this positive introduction to, well, nearly everything, I've always been sex positive, even a bit slutty (but ethical), and entirely heterosexual -- no matter how annoyed Steve or Ben may have been with this. (Steve and Ben were both kind and wise older men that I also spent time with while ditching classes, and also learned things from, but not sexual.)

Jumping 40 years and quite a few other adventures ahead...